DREAM

 

We use the time to try to understand that which is beyond time. Search implies choice; choice among the various systems that will lead you, the various methods, practices, disciplines, saviors, masters, and gurus. The important thing is to be aware that you do compare, that you are condemning or justifying, consciously or unconsciously—just be aware of that whole process. Is it possible for the mind to look at the problem, not in terms of its own cognizance, but just to look at it, without any resistance? Surely, resistance is the problem. I think it is important to ask ourselves this question. Is it possible for each one of us to find out what is true without seeking it? Search implies time; search implies gaining an end; search implies dissatisfaction, which is the motive of your search for gratification or happiness. But can I know what is beyond through mere curiosity, by reading what someone has said who has had the experience of something beyond? Or can the mind experience what is beyond only when it is uncontaminated, totally alone, uninfluenced, and therefore no longer seeking? If you are listening, not to what I am saying, but to the process of your own mind, doesn’t this question inevitably arise—the question as to whether this struggle to find reality, to discover something beyond the transient, has any meaning? If we cannot find satisfaction in one direction, don’t we turn to something else?

As long as the mind is seeking, it must create authority.

Can there be the cessation of all search, and therefore the freedom from all compulsion, all authority—the authority created by religions, the authority which each one creates in their search, in their demand and hope? We want to find a state in which there is no disturbance of any kind, a peace that is not put together by the mind. What matters is to be aware of the resistance, not how to break down the resistance.

You hope that through awareness, you will get somewhere.

Awareness is not something extraordinary, beyond; it begins very simply, by being aware of your speech and reactions, just seeing, watching all that without judgment or condemnation. If you can simply be aware that you are using awareness as a coin to buy something, and proceed from there, you begin to discover the whole process of your thinking, of your being in the relationship of existence. We then look at the problem from within our particular wall. Because, after all, life is not merely a series of conflicts, it isn’t just a matter of earning a livelihood, of living comfortably and enjoying worldly things. Search implies a process of time, so we use time as a means of understanding something which is beyond time. Be aware that you are choosing, condemning, or comparing, just be aware of it without asking, ‘How am I not to compare?’—because then you introduce another problem. Can the mind not seek, the mind which for centuries, generation after generation, has been caught in this process of seeking? That is, can the search for gratification come to an end? Which doesn’t mean that you should be satisfied with what is.

Why do I seek?

You see, the difficulty in this is that when we have gone far in our questioning or inquiry, we come to an impasse and stop; but the stopping is merely a compulsion. All this implies time, then tomorrow, not only chronologically but psychologically, inwardly.

Is it possible to experience, not in terms of time but immediately, that state when the mind is no longer seeking? The immediacy is important—not how to arrive at that state when the mind is no longer seeking because then you introduce all the factors of struggle and time. So we are everlastingly pursuing, looking for something at different levels.

We have made searching as inevitable as breathing.

As long as we are seeking, we must create authority; we must follow or have a following. Search implies effort. We have made searching as inevitable as breathing, and we say life has no meaning if we do not seek. That is not the whole content of life, but only part of it. According to the way you put it, and the earnestness of your question, you will find the answer. It seems to me that as long as the mind is seeking, it must create authority; and when it is lost in fear and imitation, it can no longer find what is true. We are searching for something, and that is our life, moving from one object of search to another, never satisfied. If there is no resistance, there is no problem. Therefore your awareness is not awareness but a process in which you are going to get something, which means that awareness is merely a coin you are using. It is very difficult to do this because our conditioning for centuries is preventing awareness without choice. Therefore your search is dictated by your conscious or unconscious desire. Please follow all this. The background of this search, if we go into the process, is the urge to find satisfaction, permanency, or happiness. You will say, ‘Is that all?’ You ask that question because you hope that through awareness, you will get somewhere. I think it is important not only to listen to that question but actually to put it to yourself and leave it, not try to find an answer to it. We have built walls around ourselves, and these walls create the problem. You have been told that if you seek, you will find. If those experiences do not take us to that which we are seeking, we turn to somebody else; we disregard the old and take on a new leader, teacher, or savvier.

As long as we are seeking, we must create authority.

So, what I am asking is not that we should deny search, because we are caught in it, but whether seeking will lead to reality. As long as you are seeking, you must create authority, the authority that will take you over and lead you and give you comfort.

Is it not important to ask ourselves if there is anyone, any authority who can give us that truth which we think will be satisfactory? We have never asked ourselves what the state of mind is if all search ceases. At the moment of rest from this constant struggle, is there not freedom from search? So, inevitably, when one examines this process of search, the question arises whether anyone can lead us to what we call truth, reality, God, or whatever name you like to give it. But your search, if you go into the process of it, is the outcome of a desire to find security, hope, or fulfilment, a bliss, a continuity in which there is no frustration. What is put together can be undone by the mind? So, can you who are listening be without a guide, without seeking, and therefore understand this whole process of time? Even though one may not understand the full significance of what is being said, I think it is very important to listen to it. The solution to these problems lies not in searching for the solution but in listening to the actual content of the problem. Your choice invariably depends on your conditioning and your gratification. The cessation of all search

Most of us have many problems. We follow what another says because they have fasted, practiced a discipline, become an ascetic; we think they have arrived, found enlightenment, and so we go to them. We are all seeking happiness at different levels; we want permanency, security, someone to take us to the other side, to a permanent state of bliss. Without seeking, we say life has no meaning, but we never go behind that word to find out the whole significance of this urge to seek. When the mind is completely, inwardly empty, not demanding anything, only then is there that instantaneous perception of what is true.

In discussing these questions, we are not trying to solve the problem; we are together taking the journey of investigation. If one is satisfied with the part, inevitably there is confusion leading to misery and destruction.

Life is a total process, is it not? It must be lived at all levels, completely, and a mind that is satisfied with any one particular level of existence is inviting sorrow. You may not find the answer, but if you are persistent with the question ‘Why do I seek?’ and let that question reveal the content of your search, perhaps there may be a moment, a second when all search ceases. Do not ask, ‘How am I going to get out of the enclosure?’ The moment you put that question you have brought in another problem, and so we multiply problem after problem. But our whole life is a process of resistance; we are Christians or Hindus, communists or capitalists, and so on. Through the tyranny of governments and the tyranny of religions, there is the conditioning of each child, each human being, to a particular form of thinking, however wide or narrow, and this conditioning prevents discovery of what is true. Religions maintain that you must have someone enlightened, who knows the truth, and that in their presence, with the example of their way of life, you will find it. If we could find a way out, we would pursue it. Consciously or unconsciously, we are pursuing and searching. We don’t see the truth simply and clearly, that resistance creates problems, and leave them there. Do you understand the problem?

We are used to being led, following a saviour or master, having someone tell us what to do. As long as we are limited by our own experience and knowledge, the problem can never be solved. That which is measureless cannot be caught by a mind that is seeking, by a mind full of knowledge; it can come into being only when the mind is no longer pursuing or trying to become something. Search implies continuity, and continuity means time, a series of experiences that we hope will lead us to the truth. Reality is the unknown, that which is not the product of the mind, which is a state of creativeness, totally new from moment to moment, which is timeless, eternal—or whatever word can be used to indicate that it is out of time. Yet that is what is happening throughout the world. It seems to me that this is one of the most crucial points: whether there is anyone—a saviour, a master, an enlightened one, it doesn’t matter who it is—who can lead us to reality. But is there anyone who can lead you to the truth? To me, that whole process is destructive and uncreative; it will not lead to that which is timeless because the very process of seeking implies time. In its very structure, by its very nature, the mind is always curious, wanting to know, wanting to find out whether there is something beyond this thing that we call living, beyond our struggles, our efforts, our miseries, our passing joys, and sensations. That is what each one of us is seeking, and we have accepted the search as inevitable. Not that I am trying to guide your thinking, but I am just pointing out what it is we are doing.